1
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:07,160
MUSIC: Slap Man Off The Phone
by Tempa T

2
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,758
Bit nervous,
this is my first time.

3
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,358
Not sexually, I mean,
with a prostit...

4
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,438
..with a lady of ill-repute.

5
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:32,678
You got the money, love?

6
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,120
The money? Oh, yeah, sorry.

7
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,918
<font color="
since my wife left,

8
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,078
if you're wondering why...

9
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,798
Hurry up, love. I'd just quite like
to get back to Match of the Day.

10
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:44,840
Oh, yes, sorry.

11
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,638
So what happens now? Do you...?

12
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,358
Oh, straight to it.

13
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,798
<font color="

14
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,638
Was your business affected
much by coronavirus?

15
00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,438
Must be quite hard to do this
when you're wearing a face maaaask?

16
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,440
Oh, that's tremendous.

17
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,398
Oh, well done.
HE CHUCKLES

18
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,798
<font color="

19
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:17,760
HE MOANS

20
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,520
Oh!

21
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HE MOANS AND GIGGLES

22
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,680
Open your window, sir.

23
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,718
Evening, officer. This is my wife.

24
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,278
What? If you're wondering
who this lady is, is my wife.

25
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,960
<font color="
your driving licence, sir?

26
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,760
Yep.

27
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,840
Just going to reach for it
in the glove compartment.

28
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:04,640
I'm unarmed.

29
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,680
No, no, no. What are you...?

30
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Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

31
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,480
<font color="

32
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,958
I know a lawyer, if you need one.

33
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,158
Oh, no, thanks,
I actually am a lawyer.

34
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,000
Really? But do you know a tyre guy?

35
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,678
DOORBELL RINGS

36
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,800
Lara!

37
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,478
I know you've got another
<font color="

38
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,318
There's no-one here, Gabby. You
know, if you're going to cheat on me

39
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,198
would you at least get your own
fucking Spotify account?

40
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,238
I can see that you're on my Netflix
and Chill playlist.

41
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,638
<font color="
Mumford and Sons

42
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,398
did furniture removals.

43
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,278
You're being mad.

44
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,278
Go home. Drink some water.

45
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,478
No, no, no, Gabby.

46
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,598
Shit, Gabby!
No, I will call the police again.

47
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,038
They will arrest you!

48
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,318
<font color="

49
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,798
I'm just issuing a public
service announcement.

50
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:21,200
Lara Grant is a cheating SKANK.

51
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,878
OVER PHONE: Which service
do you require?

52
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,560
Yes. Police, please.

53
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,960


54
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,238
<font color="

55
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chance she could...

56
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,718
How did he know I was going
to be here?

57
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Get off.

58
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:01,318


59
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,998


60
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:11,080
<font color="

61
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:57,840
INDISTINCT CHATTERING

62
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,198
Does she put a rocket
in your pocket?

63
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,398
What?

64
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,118
The girl you've been having a sneak
at the last ten minutes.

65
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,678
Do you like her?
She's just a friend from school.

66
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,158
<font color="

67
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,838
I can't just ask her out.

68
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,198
She's right there. With her friends.

69
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,438
So?

70
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,998
So, they might laugh at me.

71
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,718
Remind me why being laughed
at is worse than dying a virgin.

72
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,198
I'm not a virgin.

73
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,878
<font color="
times a night to take a piss.

74
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,438
All right, I'll ask her out for you.

75
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,838
No. Please don't.

76
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,198
I'm only waiting while Mum
takes my sister to class so that

77
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,960
you don't steal her car.

78
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,438
How's this?

79
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,358
<font color="

80
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She and her friends are invited.

81
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,718
Mum doesn't let me have parties.

82
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Let me worry about your mum.

83
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Do it! Or forever wish you had.

84
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Oop!

85
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INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

86
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,840
Well.

87
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,238
<font color="
You're an animal.

88
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,560
SCHOOLBELL RINGS
You're an animal.

89
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,800
There is.

90
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,798
Greggles, quick question, yep.

91
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,158
When they arrested you with
that prossie,

92
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,678
did you come quietly?
<font color="

93
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,238
Just a joke.

94
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,198
Thanks for taking it on the chin.

95
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,518
As you said, your prossie.

96
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,878
I mean, you're a lawyer, mate.

97
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,000
You're the one who's supposed to be
charging 200 quid an hour
to get people off.

98
00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:00,518
<font color="
got some intel for you.

99
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,480
I have been slipping Kingsley's
secretary a length.

100
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:11,318
And she tells me that he and the
partners are not happy with you.

101
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,518
What has she heard? That you are on
<font color="

102
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,038
unless you win some fans upstairs
sharpish.

103
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,678
Win some fans how?
Oh, come, chap.

104
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,158
When they hired you as a solicitor,

105
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,798
they didn't think the only thing
you'd be soliciting are
prostitutes.

106
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,518
<font color="
brought in a new client?

107
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,718
That was you? For kerb-crawling.

108
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,678
I was not kerb-crawling.

109
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,598
I got her number of the internet.

110
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,038
I'm just saying you better find
a way to get yourself noticed

111
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,720
that doesn't involve being
<font color="

112
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:55,078
Hey, I don't know if you've heard,
but I'm having a party,

113
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,358
and you're invited.

114
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,118
Beth, Louise and Cassidy
said they would come.

115
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,798
No-one's coming to your shitty
party.

116
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:01,958
<font color="

117
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,118
I can get alcohol any time I want.

118
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,840
My dad has got it hid all over
the house.

119
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,280
No-one is coming to your party.

120
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,560
LOUD POUNDING

121
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:52,318
Make it quick because I'm rinsing
this kid from China

122
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,800
<font color="

123
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,798
So, we good?

124
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,360
What do you think, Spider? We good?

125
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,118
Look, I done my part,
now you do yours.

126
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,360
My sister comes by, she ain't
welcome.

127
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,680
All right. We good.

128
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,480
Yo.

129
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,358
<font color="

130
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,480
No. No trouble.

131
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,038
Hey bud!

132
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,318
I'm cancelling the party.

133
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,838
Why?

134
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,078
No-one wants to come.

135
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,558
I have to ask you something.

136
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,558
Are you a nerd?

137
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,318
What? No. Why would you say that?

138
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,838
<font color="

139
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,598
You're 70 years old, what do
you know about fashion?

140
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:16,318
Nothing. And I still know you dress
like a nerd, which should worry you.

141
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,158
Why are you being mean?
I'm not being mean.

142
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,158
<font color="
make me cool? Yes.

143
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,558
How?

144
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:26,078
You're going to have a famous person
at your party.

145
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,438
What? Who?

146
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,678
So apparently, since I started
community payback,

147
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,758
<font color="
are through the roof.

148
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,918
Oi! Now... Eyes off the cellphone,
nose to the grindstone.

149
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,918
Eh, keep sweeping.

150
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,038
Yeah, but really look.

151
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,758
I mean, we trashed an entire
<font color="

152
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,518
so the old people in care
homes didn't die of coronavirus.

153
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,318
But how long did they have left,
really?

154
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,758
You know? I mean, 400 billion
indebted

155
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,038
so that Nana gets one extra
year watching Bargain Hunt?

156
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,078
<font color="
this, by the way?

157
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,638
You know? I'm all about standing
there applauding nurses.

158
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,478
That's fine. But how about a round
of applause for the higher rate
taxpayer?

159
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,520
Right?

160
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,278
Hey.

161
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,998
<font color="
made you steal? What was that?

162
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,318
What the hell were you thinking?
What?

163
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,358
You could have got one of us killed!
Why are you even there?

164
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,720
To help. Yeah, but I didn't ask for
<font color="

165
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,480
You don't know me or my life.

166
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,158
Just stay out of it.

167
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,958
WHISTLE BLOWS

168
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,080
Lunch, 30 minutes.

169
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,518
Sashimi? I don't eat raw fish.

170
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,998
Have you ever tried it? No.

171
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,118
<font color="
you don't like it?

172
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,598
I've never shoved a cucumber
up my arse, but I'm pretty sure

173
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,638
it's not my thing. Only pretty sure.

174
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,878
Raw fish, the healthiest
protein you can eat.

175
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:55,438
<font color="
on for two months was sashimi

176
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,158
from Tokyo Fish Market.

177
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,718
I was as light as an otter.

178
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,638
That's a haunting image. OK.

179
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,758
Come on. Bonding exercise.

180
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,718
Everyone has to share one secret
<font color="

181
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,078
OK, who wants to start?

182
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,238
OK, right. I will.

183
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:14,558
I have pretty much completely ruined
things with my girlfriend,

184
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:18,438
but she has agreed to meet me later.

185
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,118
Now I know that I still have a long
way to go to make-up

186
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,878
<font color="
but I'm working on that.

187
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,798
Someone did once say, "There is no
challenge more challenging

188
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,638
"than the challenge to improve
yourself." Mm! So, yeah.

189
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,038
<font color="
All the best. Thanks, guys.

190
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,838
Good luck. Good luck with that.

191
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,038
Come on, John. What's your secret?

192
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,838
You're a bunch of convicted
criminals.

193
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:43,078
<font color="
Angry I even told you my name.

194
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,238
Frank, what's your secret?

195
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,678
I first come to England in 1971.

196
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,638
I told people it was a vacation,

197
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,358
but I was dodging the draft. What's
that?

198
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:55,398
<font color="
conscripting men for Vietnam.

199
00:12:55,400 --> 00:13:00,638
So I come here, married a wonderful
woman and I kept my head down.

200
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,518
So you never went to Vietnam?

201
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,278
Not until 1994.

202
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,680
I went on my terms.

203
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,238
Chris, tell us something
<font color="

204
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,638
CHRIS SIGHS

205
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,438
Unlike Frank, I've never been on
a plane before.

206
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,238
Never been further than
Weston-super-Mare.

207
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,958
You have to travel, son.

208
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:23,478
You have not lived until
you've drunk rum with fishermen

209
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,678
<font color="

210
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,398
I once drank Tia Maria with a
greengrocer on the Isle of Wight.

211
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,758
That count?

212
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,918
OK, Myrna, tell us something people
don't know about you.

213
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:40,438
I was one of the people who tore
down that statue of Edward Colston.

214
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,838
<font color="

215
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,998
No, I just don't believe
in memorialising slave traders.

216
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,438
And that gives you the right
to destroy public property, does it?

217
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:52,638
Edward Colston got rich
from the systematic dehumanisation

218
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,438
of an entire people.

219
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,158
<font color="
going after him, are you?

220
00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,318
Well, I'll tell you what, let's put
up some more statues of white
blokes.

221
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,718
Who should we have? Prince Andrew?

222
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,038
Piers Morgan? Harry Potter?

223
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,998
Guys, please.

224
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,878
<font color="
someone else.

225
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,080
Which philosopher gave us
that little gem, Ariana Grande?

226
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,118
Greg, what's your secret?

227
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,238
I'm a lawyer.

228
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,758
Keep that quiet, shameful.

229
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,918
A lawyer who's badly organised.

230
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,438
<font color="

231
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,398
I use Wikipedia to conduct
most of my legal research.

232
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,638
I've missed court deadlines.
I've forged signatures.

233
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,998
We've all done that in my office.

234
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,598
In my office, I have this cupboard.
I call it the Cupboard of Chaos.

235
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,438
<font color="
witness statement, affidavit,

236
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,998
that's proof of my incompetence
in there and I can't destroy them.

237
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,678
I can't file them. So I live in
constant fear that someone will open
the cupboard

238
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,358
and I'll never work in law again.

239
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:48,558
<font color="
get fired anyway unless I
bring in some new clients, so...

240
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,638
Actually, does anyone need a lawyer?
I've got some business cards here.

241
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,480
Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
Hey, are you any good?

242
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:03,038
<font color="

243
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,558
Well, the other night I stole
my dad's van,

244
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,958
I drove it to Lawrence Hill to help
this boy I barely know

245
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,958
get out of a really scary situation.

246
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,358
And even though I put my neck
<font color="

247
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,278
he's incredibly ungrateful.

248
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,198
You do not need people
like that in your life.

249
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,678
Yeah! Why did you even help him?

250
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,478
I guess I thought he was my friend.

251
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,998
Oh, honey, he is not your friend.

252
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,960
He is a total fart-knocker.

253
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,360
<font color="

254
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,238
A line is a mobile phone that drug
dealers use. It contains numbers

255
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,798
for all their customers,

256
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,878
so that makes it valuable to rival
gang members

257
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,798
that might want to steal
their business.

258
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,918
<font color="

259
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,718
Look, I'm not used to
people helping me,

260
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,918
so when they do, I get suspicious.

261
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:23,000
I'm sorry and thank you
for what you've done for me.

262
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:27,680
You're welcome.

263
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,638
Look, before I turn into a...

264
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,878
..total fart-knocker...
<font color="

265
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:38,478
..you said that you'd help my
sister with her exams.

266
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,278
Don't know if I can.

267
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,798
Frank's not the only one with
a curfew.

268
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,318
You don't have an ankle tag.
Worse.

269
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,158
I have an Asian mother.

270
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,598
<font color="

271
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,398
She uses that Find My Friends app,

272
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,278
so she can see where me
and my phone are at all times.

273
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,238
Her and my dad watch it like a TV
show.

274
00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:00,040
Well, could you meet my sister
somewhere you might legit be going
<font color="

275
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,760
Hm.

276
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,438
Diane?

277
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,758
Can I play some music?

278
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,278
I'll allow it.

279
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:12,078
By the way, I overheard you doing
your bonding exercise.

280
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,438
Is that against the rules?

281
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,078
No, you should include everyone,
<font color="

282
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,878
Everyone's got interested
in secrets.

283
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,678
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Of course. What's yours, Diane?

284
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,678
No, I don't mean me specifically?
I just mean, if there's a group of
people,

285
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,278
you should include everyone
<font color="
rude.

286
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,238
Got it. Yeah.

287
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,198
But you know, if you did
have a secret that you wanted

288
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,278
to share, then I'd love to hear it.

289
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,598
No, I don't.

290
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,640
OK, then.

291
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,838
I've just started
<font color="

292
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,798
My teacher says I probably got
the strongest thighs of any beginner

293
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,598
he's ever trained.

294
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,838
And he once trained Jason Statham.

295
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,718
Wow! So if you were to come at me
now,

296
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,558
<font color="

297
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,958
Your head in between these bad boys.

298
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,200
Uh-huh. Crack that pretty
little neck like a walnut.

299
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,558
I feel like I know you so much
better now.

300
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,600
You're welcome. Back to work.

301
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,758
<font color="

302
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:28,158
Can I just say I was so struck
by what you said earlier?

303
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,438
There's no challenge more
challenging the challenge

304
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,198
to improve yourself.

305
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,398
Wise words that really struck home.

306
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,038
Oh, I'm glad.

307
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,998
<font color="

308
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,558
I didn't want to mention it in front
of the group because I'm ashamed.

309
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,878
Oh, yeah, of course. I've been a
terrible father and a worse grandad.

310
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,878
In what way? I lived here 40 years.

311
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,358
<font color="
in the other.

312
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,798
Sex, drugs, rock and roll.

313
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,558
I broke hearts. I burned my bridges.

314
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:02,718
But I figure if we can mend this
dump, I can bend my bridges too.

315
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,518
Hey, good for you!

316
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,038
I'm throwing my grandson
<font color="

317
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,598
He's a good kid, he's not
the coolest beer in the fridge,

318
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,478
but I'm trying to win him
some street cred.

319
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,438
And I'm wondering...

320
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:17,478
..how much would you charge to make
a VIP appearance?

321
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,558
<font color="

322
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,198
Damn it!

323
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,360
This poor kid can't catch a break.
Poor kid.

324
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,238
Well, look, you know...

325
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,878
I admire anyone trying to change
their life for the better.

326
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,920
So.

327
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,598
How about I stop by for five
<font color="

328
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,758
You would to do that?

329
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,758
Oh! Your ladyship.

330
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,718
Oh. Thank you.

331
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,800
Thank you so much.

332
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,758
Hey, Frank.

333
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,118
Yeah? What kind of music do you
like?

334
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,440
<font color="

335
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,878
Right, so what I'd do there is
I would just in one movement

336
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:04,598
just snap that giraffe-like neck
of yours like a dry twig.

337
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,400
OK? Yeah. Right back to work.

338
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,920
MUSIC: Chain Gang
<font color="

339
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:22,480


340
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,598


341
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,640


342
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:28,958


343
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,518

of the men

344
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:36,598


345
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,838


346
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,878
<font color="

347
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,438


348
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,358


349
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,518


350
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,080


351
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,158


352
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,038


353
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,440


354
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,278


355
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,478


356
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,638

<font color="

357
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:09,438


358
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,318


359
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,158


360
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,598


361
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,558


362
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,878


363
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,438


364
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,678
<font color="

365
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,118


366
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,678


367
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,440


368
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,118
What on earth? Wait.

369
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:39,078
Never open an unattended bag.

370
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,718
See it, say it, sorted.

371
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,760
Whatever.

372
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,800
<font color="

373
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,440
Bloody hell!

374
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,398
Wow.

375
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,440
Christ.

376
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,198
Did you like the flowers I sent?

377
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,918
Hard to appreciate them fully when I
looked at them my windows

378
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,278
and saw my defaced car outside.

379
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,038
I'm so sorry.

380
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,718
<font color="
that's not me.

381
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,478
Sometimes it is.

382
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,198
Well, look, it's not how
I want me to be.

383
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,478
Just give me another chance,
Lara, please.

384
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,078
I'll get anger management,
whatever, anything you want.

385
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,118
<font color="

386
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,558
I never know what mood you're going
to be in from one moment
to the next. It's exhausting.

387
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,478
Yeah, I imagine. I'm sorry.

388
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,638
I can't be a lifeboat or your punch
bag or whatever it is you need.

389
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,918
Lady Gabby. Are you,
<font color="

390
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,118
Abso-bloody-lutely.

391
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:47,598
Oh, my God, we love you.
We both follow you on Instagram.

392
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,158
Oh, thank you.
How's your festival going?

393
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,118
You know, it's a lot of work.

394
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,198
I bet. Yeah. Can we get a picture?

395
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,758
<font color="

396
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,320
Naturally.

397
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,398
Thank you so much.

398
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,118
We're massive fans.
Oh, thank you so much.

399
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:12,198
Well, listen, you guys
have the perfect day. Thanks.

400
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,680
Mm.

401
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,118
<font color="
of a conversation.

402
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,798
What was I suppose to do,
tell them to fuck off?

403
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,678
Yes. All right, fine, next time
I will.

404
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:23,718
SHE SCOFFS

405
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,078
What, you don't think I will?

406
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,798
<font color="
You're addicted.

407
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,478
To what? Approval from a million
people you've never met.

408
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,278
Well, then take it, Lara. Take it.
Delete Instagram and Twitter.

409
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,198
Everything. It'll just be me
<font color="

410
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,638
I can change.

411
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,158
It's too late, Gabby.
Don't...FUCKING say that.

412
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:46,478
I'm sorry... Hi! Can my daughter
have a photo?

413
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,158
Absolutely.

414
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,358
In fact...no, fuck off.

415
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:54,558
<font color="
Why don't you believe me?

416
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,798
Because you say you're going to do
a lot of things and you never
see them through?

417
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,838
What about my festival?
I'm going to see that through.

418
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,798
It's never going to happen.
<font color="

419
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,158
I have to go.

420
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,838
Are you seeing someone else?

421
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,158
I'm not even cold in my grave yet.

422
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,478
Bye, Gabby.

423
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,198
Fine. Go, go. Fuck off.

424
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,240
Fuck off!

425
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,638
Hi, sorry about earlier. I just...

426
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,920
<font color="
that picture?

427
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,160
Hey.

428
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,598
What do you want?

429
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,118
What do you mean?

430
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:05,118
I don't want you hanging round me
no more. Why not?

431
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,998
I ain't got to give you reasons,
<font color="

432
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,958
I ain't a little girl.
Give me a chance. I'll prove it.

433
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,800
Go home. I want to be out...
I said, "Go home."

434
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,840
What's the matter? Nothing.

435
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,798
Es, how would you feel about leaving
<font color="

436
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,758
And go where?

437
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,558
Anywhere in the world?

438
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,118
What, Swindon?

439
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,118
No, anywhere.

440
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,718
Tokyo Fish Market.

441
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,718
Why would we go to Tokyo for fish?

442
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,558
There's a Morrisons round the
<font color="

443
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,238
How you hoping to pay for this?

444
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,918
Scratchcards? Got some money coming
to me.

445
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,518
From where? So, what do you think,
Es?

446
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,438
Maybe somewhere new,
<font color="

447
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,438
No, I want to stay in Bristol.

448
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,838
I don't need your permission.
Anywhere I go, you have to go too.

449
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,198
Well, once I'm 16,
I'll just come back.

450
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,998
Look, Es, I'm...

451
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,158
I'm not suggesting
<font color="

452
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,798
I want you to have chances
in life, options.

453
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,240
I pick the option where
I do what I want to do.

454
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,398
I want you to meet a friend of mine.

455
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,958
I can make my own friends.
No, she can help you. How?

456
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,078
<font color="
stay out of mine.

457
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,718
Helping you with your exams.
I ain't doing my exams.

458
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,398
Yes, you are. No, I'm not.

459
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,798
Well, if you want to stay here,
you're doing your exams.

460
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,080
<font color="
flight to Tokyo Fish Market.

461
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,678
I'm taking Holly to her dad's
and then I'm going to work.

462
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:52,398
Don't forget there's a cottage pie
in the fridge and your grandpa
is a lying snake, bye, love you.

463
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,278
Why did you keep saying
<font color="

464
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,798
He's only ever nice about you.

465
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,718
And he really cares about us.
No, Tom.

466
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,038
The only thing your grandpa cares
about is drinking and gambling

467
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,998
and getting his end away. What "does
<font color="

468
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,278
It's what some adults do when
they've got no moral compass,
sweetie.

469
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,838
Oh, OK.

470
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,640
What's a "moral compass"?
I'll explain in the car.

471
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,240
Mum's gone. Where is it?

472
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,360
Oh, Frank!

473
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,038
<font color="

474
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:51,958
OK. You sure you can't save me
from the mouth that is Yamini?

475
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,918
Come, love. I think I really need to
study.

476
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,558
Ooh. I might actually go
to the library a bit.

477
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,198
<font color="

478
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,478
There's some kottu in the fridge
in case you get hungry. OK?

479
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,840
OK, thanks. Have a nice night.
Love you. Bye.

480
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,518
Rani.

481
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,158
LOUD THUD

482
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:52,200
Sorry.

483
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,560
<font color="

484
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,720
Pleasure to meet you.

485
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,318
I really appreciate you doing this.

486
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:07,760
Don't we, Es? Oh, we're BUZZING.
Shh!

487
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,320
Don't shush me.
I'm not one of your cats.

488
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:13,680
Sorry.

489
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:20,118
<font color="
Well, I'll leave you to it.

490
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,558
You're not staying.

491
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,518
No, I can't, I got to work.
I'll see you later.

492
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,558
OK. Thanks, again.

493
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:27,600
OK.

494
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,280
I thought we'd go over some
old papers.

495
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,878
<font color="

496
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,758
To help me prep for your exams.

497
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,918
So you're wearing that top for me?

498
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,480
I mean, I'm flattered,
but you're not really my type.

499
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,278
Why have you fancy my brother
when he's such a waste, man?

500
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,878
I don't fancy your brother.

501
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,838
<font color="
community service.

502
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,798
What's your excuse?

503
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,318
We're not here to talk about me.
We're here to talk about algebra.

504
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,158
Tell me how you broke the law.
Do you want to study or not?

505
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,838
<font color="
I don't give a shit, either.

506
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,398
Yes, you do. You want to turn me
into a genius,

507
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,158
so my brother will fall in love
with you.

508
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,198
No, I'm not doing that. I'm
literally here...

509
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,000
<font color="
ECHOES: FUCK OFF!

510
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,518
Don't worry, I got it.

511
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:23,560
Shh.

512
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:26,560
WHISPERS: Outrageous.

513
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:29,718
How 'bout...

514
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,638
..I ask you a maths question

515
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,758
and for everyone you get right,
<font color="

516
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,120
Sound good?

517
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,118
My brother was right.

518
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,720
You are clever.

519
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,638
DISTANT DANCE MUSIC THUMPS

520
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,438
I just love her so much, you know?

521
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,158
I mean, she's...

522
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,478
..she's caring, and she...

523
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,360
..and she makes me laugh.

524
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:08,958
<font color="
interested in the money or the fame.

525
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,678
You know, she...

526
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,520
..she actually loves me for me.

527
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:18,918
But I get this rage sometimes,
you know, this...this anger,

528
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:24,438
and it's like I have to just blow up
<font color="

529
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:25,960
I mean, who does that?

530
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,400
So, do you want to pay
by cash or by card?

531
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:00,760
What are you doing?

532
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,598
That's not how you roll a joint.

533
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:05,758
Give it to me.

534
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,320
DOORBELL RINGS

535
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,640
It's not her, it's not her.

536
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,398
<font color="

537
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,878
No, not yet, fashionably late,
of course.

538
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,200
That's so her. Isn't it?

539
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,520
Well, come in, let me get you
a drink.

540
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,558
"Dear Mr DuPont,

541
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,878
"Re your letter dated May 7th,

542
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,198
<font color="
plaintiff's statement of claim

543
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,360
"file number GRT 4...

544
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,440
"..864...

545
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:03,400
".. .1."

546
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,040
Are you paid by the hour or the word
to type up this crap?

547
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,440
Whatever they're paying you in
<font color="

548
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,318
You know, every day I come
back to my desk after lunch

549
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,840
and I have a panic attack.

550
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,838
I just sit here and I realise that

551
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,478
I don't understand any of this.

552
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,998
And if you're thinking, "Well, why
don't you quit, then,

553
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,718
<font color="
beanpole wanker?"

554
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,398
I say, "And do what? Finance?
Sales?

555
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,398
"I'd be worse at sales than I am at
bloody law

556
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,600
"and I'm pretty bloody shit at that,
love, so that's a mad idea."

557
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,358
Dictaphone BEEPS

558
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,320
<font color="

559
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,518
"Dear Mr DuPont, re your letter
dated May 7th,

560
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:55,160
"We await your response to the
plaintiff's statement of claim..."

561
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,718
I'm really trying to cut down
on my screen time, and I only

562
00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:21,478
<font color="
me feel really good about myself.

563
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,040
Yeah, me too.
DOORBELL RINGS

564
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,840
Oh, no, it's just some old people.

565
00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:39,600
Yeah, come in. Hi, Frank.

566
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,400
Is she even coming?

567
00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:50,600
<font color="

568
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,080
SHE SIGHS

569
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:33,518
And you score 33 out of 60 on
paper one and then 75 out of 100

570
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:34,998
on paper two,

571
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,440
what's your overall percentage
score for the exam?

572
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,438
67.5?

573
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,038
<font color="

574
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,918
My question. Why did you steal
stuff?

575
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,638
I don't know.

576
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,280
Not good enough. Must try harder.

577
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:00,558
My mum does not like me doing things
that take me away from studying,

578
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,440
but when she was my age,
<font color="

579
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,478
..massacred.

580
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,558
So, I feel like I just can't get mad
at her

581
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,880
when she says I can't go ice skating
a school night.

582
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:21,318
But I don't know, that...frustration
has to come out somewhere.

583
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,078
<font color="

584
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,518
He's trying to run my life. No, no,
he just...

585
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,840
..he cares about you so much.

586
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,398
Do you know he called social
services on our mum,

587
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,838
had her parental rights taken away,

588
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,600
<font color="
instead of my own mum.

589
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,040
That's not caring.
That's psychopathic.

590
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:48,040
Did she do something? No.

591
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:50,960
She's just...sick.

592
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,240
Sick how?

593
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:57,880
Next question.

594
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,358
<font color="
Good Burger. What can I get you?

595
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,478
What would you recommend for someone
whose girlfriend is a cheating
whore?

596
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,080
Uh...spicy mozzarella dippers?

597
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,438
Yeah, great, and I'll get to Gert
<font color="

598
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,840
Thanks. All right.

599
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:42,918
Hi, friends.

600
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,398
So I learnt something valuable
today, and I just wanted to take

601
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,678
a minute to share it with you,
so here it is.

602
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:53,878
Sometimes it's not what you do
<font color="

603
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,398
HORN HONKS

604
00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:00,518
Now, I've talked to you guys
before about how I can react

605
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,998
too emotionally to things,
and you know what, I very nearly

606
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,518
did the same today.

607
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,598
But then I remembered my
<font color="

608
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:08,918
HORN HONKS

609
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,678
"Suffering is resisting what is."

610
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,118
HORN HONKS
MAN: Move!

611
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,198
Now, if you can accept what is,

612
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:22,518
you can relinquish anxiety
and anger.

613
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,558
And just remember, peeps,

614
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,238
<font color="
by breaking someone else.

615
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:30,598
HORN HONKS
SHOUTS: What is your fucking
problem?

616
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,078
Can't you just wait
for five seconds?

617
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,560
HORN HONKS
Oh, you piece of shit.

618
00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:43,680
<font color="

619
00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:50,118
SHE SCREAMS

620
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,040
Middle-aged wanker!

621
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:05,878
We can't keep it.

622
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,078
Why? I'm calling the police.

623
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,558
You think those corrupt sons
of bitches are not going to keep
it for themselves.

624
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,238
<font color="
We found it, we're entitled to it.

625
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:16,318
Sorry, are you citing the legal
precedent,

626
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,278
"finders, keepers, losers, weepers"?

627
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,318
We don't know who's money it is.

628
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,598
It could be some old-aged
pensioners' life savings.

629
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:27,398
<font color="
keep our life savings in the
ceiling of a derelict building.

630
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,358
No, what if this is from a
bank robbery? Then it's insured.

631
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,398
No-one suffers. What if it's drug
<font color="

632
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,838
No, but it came from ruining
lives in my community.

633
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:39,638
Then use your cut to set
up a needle exchange

634
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,878
or a methadone clinic.

635
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:46,118
Yeah. You're not considering that.
<font color="

636
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,158
Penis cancer is a major disease.

637
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,518
Drug addiction is a lifestyle
choice. Lifestyle choice.

638
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,078
No-one's selling their body for
heroin because they saw it on the
cover of Grazia.

639
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,878
<font color="
keeping this, which we can't, OK,

640
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,798
and even though we patched
up the ceiling,

641
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,318
whoever hid it there in the first
place,

642
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,838
they're going to come looking for
it.

643
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:09,238
<font color="
like Joey Pliers or Eddie Machete.

644
00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:11,238
OK, so... Thank you.

645
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:14,198
I'm calling the police. One-third
of that enough to keep the lights

646
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:15,638
on in your factory?

647
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,278
You've got workers depending on you
<font color="

648
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,118
You think they care where their
pay packet comes from?

649
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,638
It doesn't justify keeping it.
How old are you?

650
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:28,758
45, when your business goes under,
are you getting another job?

651
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,318
Are you going to retrain?
<font color="

652
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:35,038
No. You're going to be my age,
stacking shelves down Tesco.

653
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:39,278
OVER MOBILE: Hello, emergency
services. Which service do you
require?

654
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:40,878
Hello.

655
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,878
Oh, God, OK, I need to think
<font color="

656
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,998
Me too. Fine, you two brain it
around. I'll hide the loot here
until...

657
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,398
No. No. Yeah. How do we know that
you're not on the next flight

658
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,720
<font color="

659
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,440
BOTH: Oh.

660
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:11,038
Shit. Now we're going to have
to kill them.

661
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,480
What did you say? Fuck. I'm kidding.

662
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:16,600
Funny, man.

663
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,840
<font color="

664
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,278
Yeah.

665
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,998
I'm DS Selforth, this is DS Haines.

666
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,198
We need to ask you a few questions.

667
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:40,558
About what?

668
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,840
About the masked gunman
seen running from this house.

669
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,760
You get one phone call.
Who do you want to call?

670
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,680
<font color="

671
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:11,280
No.

672
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:16,520
Hang on.

673
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,158
All right, mate?

674
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:41,078
Journo, from the Mail.
Sent me down because that, uh,

675
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,758
Lady Gabby Penrose-Howe is in again,
apparently.

676
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,320
That so.

677
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,798
<font color="
Is she in there or...?

678
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,678
Sorry, mate.

679
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,440
Your pictures, my words. Huh?!

680
00:43:57,240 --> 00:43:59,438
Yeah. Uh-huh. All right.

681
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:00,918
She's in there.

682
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:05,038
Also, I heard there was a copper
<font color="

683
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,798
What's his name again? Bennett?
Bennett? Desk Sergeant.

684
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,918
Desk Sergeant Bennett. Yeah, yeah.

685
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,598
What's his rate again?

686
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:15,718
100 quid for the details.
Extra 100 for the access.

687
00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:16,920
<font color="

688
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,198
Hello, I'm Lady Gabriella
Penrose-Howe's solicitor.

689
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,838
I believe you're holding her.
Yeah, that's right.

690
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:33,918
I want all the charges dropped
and I want her taken out the back
way so that pap doesn't get her.

691
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,520
<font color="

692
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:43,038
OVER DICTAPHONE: I heard there
was a copper in their who takes
bribes. What's his name again?

693
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,958
PAPARAZZO: Bennett. Bennett? Desk
Sergeant. Desk Sergeant Bennett.

694
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,638
<font color="

695
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:53,800
100 quid for the details. Extra 100
for the access. Cheers, m'dears.

696
00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,000
No chance?

697
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,838
You won't believe it, mate.

698
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,558
She tunnelled her way out
with a cocaine spoon.

699
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,680
<font color="

700
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,518
You all right?

701
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,198
No.

702
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,998
I'm pathetic and lonely.

703
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,038
Please, no-one's more pathetic
and lonely than me.

704
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,118
I live in a flat paid for by my dad,
which he never visits.

705
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,638
<font color="
where they make you pay six months

706
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,678
upfront in case you hang yourself.

707
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,678
I depend on likes from people
I don't even know for any

708
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,278
kind of self-worth.

709
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,118
My wife walked out cos she said
that living with me

710
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:00,560
<font color="

711
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,398
When I was arrested, the only
person I had to call was you.

712
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,558
You win. That's the most pathetic
thing I've ever heard, and that's...

713
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,440
And I've heard some pathetic things.

714
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:14,678
What were you in for this time?

715
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:16,280
<font color="

716
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,878
I smashed up a man's car
by reversing into it.

717
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,278
No way! I did the same
to a police car.

718
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:23,998
What, seriously? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

719
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,718
Well, then we're car vandal buddies.
Car vandal buddies, yeah, forever.

720
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:28,760
<font color="

721
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,398
You know what makes me feel better
if I've had a bad day is junk food.

722
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,998
There's a drive-thru near here...
Definitely not. No? OK.

723
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,520
Well, what would cheer you up?

724
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,560
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

725
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,238
<font color="

726
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:04,038
Hi.

727
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:05,598
How'd it go?

728
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:06,798
Yeah, good.

729
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,358
As you said your sister is
a really clever young woman.

730
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:11,638
What do you think, Es?

731
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,718
I think that you're such an idiot

732
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,798
that to stop me from ruining my
<font color="

733
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,038
you got me a tutor
who's ruining her future.

734
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,360
Great find, bro!

735
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:31,518
But she still did a pretty good job
so...

736
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:33,280
..I'd study with her again.

737
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:41,158
Thanks again. Pleasure.

738
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,198
<font color="

739
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:46,318
With a few more sessions, yeah, I
think so.

740
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,360
Cool. It's good to know.

741
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,438
Do you want to go for a coffee?

742
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,438
I...

743
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,118
..can't, it's getting late and I...

744
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,238
Oh, no, yeah, sorry, it is late.

745
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:58,918
<font color="

746
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,520
We'd never get to sleep.

747
00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:04,598
In our separate beds.

748
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:05,838
Yeah.

749
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,560
All right, well,
I'll see you at CS.

750
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:09,800
Yeah. Yeah?

751
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,238
By the way, I like your necklace.

752
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:18,240
<font color="

753
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,680
LOUD CHATTER

754
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,720
That's for being a liar
and wasting everybody's time.

755
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:43,398
Mum's right.

756
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,678
You are lying, two-faced snake.

757
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,878
IN DEEP VOICE: Pizza delivery.

758
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,998
Who ordered pizza?

759
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:51,558
<font color="

760
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,160
GASPS AND EXCITED CHATTER

761
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,478
Who wants free pizza?

762
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,800
It's not strictly free,
I did pay for it.

763
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,438
Tommy, hi, handsome.

764
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,918
Oh, long time, no see.

765
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:10,638
Darling, I am so sorry, I'm late.
<font color="

766
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,718
Not much. Can I introduce you to
some people?

767
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:15,958
Oh, naturally.

768
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,198
This is Beth and Cassidy.

769
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,318
It's a pleasure to meet you, ladies.

770
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:22,678
Hi.

771
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:24,518
Do you mind if they take
a picture with you?

772
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,400
<font color="

773
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,360
Here, let's give
that to someone else. You.

774
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,078
Now, tell me,

775
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,960
does this party have a hashtag yet?

776
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,318
Anyone want a pizza?

777
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,718
Cost me a bloody fortune.

778
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,280
Get involved, mate.

779
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:08,560
<font color="
I'm going to call her.

780
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:15,638
MOBILE RINGS

781
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:19,358
Hello? Hi. We're on our way home.
Are you back yet?

782
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,078
Aren't you checking on the app?
No, of course not.

783
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:23,558
Well, I'm home.

784
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:27,400
<font color="

785
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,598
Hey, what did you study
at the library?

786
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,398
Unit vectors, again.

787
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,638
I bet that was more interesting than
spending an evening with Yamini.

788
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,598
Her story about doing the half
marathon in under three hours

789
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,918
<font color="
RANI GROANS

790
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,438
She's just jealous that
you are going to Oxford

791
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:46,718
and her daughter dropped out of
catering college.

792
00:50:46,720 --> 00:50:49,718
She flunked custard. Classic Yamini.

793
00:50:49,720 --> 00:50:52,518
I know! Listen, we'll be home
<font color="

794
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,678
OK? We'll see you soon. OK.

795
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,000
Love you. Bye. Bye.

796
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,120
WATER RUSHES

797
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:12,600
CAT MEOWS

798
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,720
Hey, do you want to go outside?

799
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:19,880
Yes, you do.

800
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,760
MUFFLED SCREAMS

801
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,398
<font color="
happy with plastic fittings.

802
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:54,478
Oh, for goodness' sake.

803
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,118
Never fly... Because she doesn't
want to pay for the better ones.

804
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,838
I said, look... Yes! Exactly, right,

805
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,358
Do not struggle. Shut the fuck up.

806
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,238
<font color="

807
00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:07,678
If you scream, I'll slit your throat
and anyone who walks in that door.

808
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:08,840
Got it?

809
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,598
Do you recognise this van?

810
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:15,278
Do you recognise the van?

811
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,478
SHOUTS: How many fucking times do I
<font color="
Do you recognise the van?

812
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:20,120
It's my dad's. It's my dad's van.

813
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,078
Well, the driver of this van helped
someone steal from us.

814
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,878
Was it your dad? No.

815
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,680
So why was your dad's van
<font color="

816
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,238
Are you deaf?! I...I...

817
00:52:33,240 --> 00:52:36,118
It was...it was stolen
about a week ago.

818
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:37,878
It was stolen by who? I don't know.

819
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:40,598
Who was the van stolen by? We
<font color="

820
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,878
and they haven't got back to us.
We don't know.

821
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:45,718
We don't know who stole it. Are you
lying to me? Are you lying?
I'm not lying.

822
00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:48,078
I'm not lying.

823
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:51,200
Cos you know if you are lying,
<font color="

824
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,200
WHISPERS: And I will bury you
myself.

825
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:04,880
INDISTINCT CHATTER

826
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:11,798
Hiya. Have a goodnight? Yes.

827
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,078
Have you eaten?
I brought you some leftovers.

828
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,638
<font color="
but thank you.

829
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,478
Oh. Oh. OK. OK, suit yourself.

830
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,440
Coffee, please.

831
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:36,320
Hey!

832
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,360
He wants to talk to you.

833
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:43,438
Hello.

834
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,798
<font color="
with ambitious people.

835
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,718
They forget who they were before
I came into their lives.

836
00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:50,398
Do you remember who you were?

837
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:51,838
A fucking nobody.

838
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:55,598
A scared little child. You wanted
respect. I gave you status.

839
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,038
<font color="
I taught you a trade.

840
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,158
And now this is a loyalty I get.

841
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,118
What, chill out. What happened?

842
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:04,438
My West Country line gets jacked.

843
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:06,198
thief knows exactly
where to find it,

844
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,598
and you're saying you didn't take it
<font color="

845
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,118
What bag?

846
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,358
The bag on its way from your inbred
part of the world

847
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,958
with six months of my fucking
earnings.

848
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:18,838
What?

849
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:23,478
"'Good morning, Pinocchio,' said,
the fox, greeting him courteously.

850
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:27,318
<font color="
asked the marionette?

851
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:28,718
"'I know your father well.

852
00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:32,238
"I saw him yesterday,
standing in the door of his house.'

853
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:34,198
"'And what was he doing?'

854
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,358
"He was in his shirtsleeves,
trembling with cold.'

855
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:41,838
<font color="
he will suffer no longer.

856
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,240
'Because I have become a rich man.'

857
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:52,078
"'And may I ask,' inquired the fox,

858
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,320
"'what you are going to do
with all that money?'"

859
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:05,198
Guaranteed peace of mind
is what you promised me,

860
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,158
<font color="
peaceful.

861
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:11,678
I tax you less and you stop shit
like this from happening.

862
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:13,318
That was our deal.

863
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,358
So I suggest you find my money

864
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:19,438
and whoever took it, because now
I have to kill either them

865
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,040
<font color="

866
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:38,800
You have no moral compass.

867
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,838
Right, and immediately just
chundered all down himself.

868
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:50,198
Disgraceful.

869
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,560
LAUGHTER
What?

870
00:56:06,240 --> 00:56:09,480
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION